Do You Have "The Look"?

The other day I was sitting at my computer working intensely on a project. My son Evan rushed over and began sharing his latest revelation about his favorite superheros. As he rambled on about superpowers , laser beams and invisible force fields, I responded in turn with a series of "um-hums", "wows" and "Oh I sees" concluded with a less than heartful "That's nice honey" --all without ever looking up from the computer. All at once, I felt my son's two little sticky fruit snackety hand, grab my face and lightning fast we were staring at each other almost nose to nose. Without even blinking Evan said with a very confident voice, "Mommy LOOK at me when I'm talking to you!" After a very pregnant pause, I burst out laughing and so did Evan for that matter. He wanted me to listen with my eyes and heart--not just my ears!

Have you ever try to share your thoughts, ideas or experiences with someone who wasn't really listening to you? It can be very frustrating and disheartening at best. As a talented encourager your goal is to give hope, courage and confidence to others. A talented encourager always seeks to "first understand and then be understood" according to Stephen Covey. In order to first understand you must make yourself completely "present" in the conversation. How do you do this? Here are a few tips:

• Make direct eye contact with the speaker. This shows that they are important and you are interested in what they have to say.
• Have a natural, relaxed body position. This demonstrates to the speaker that you are ready and open to hear their ideas and concerns,
• Stay on THEIR topic. Don't deviate to something of more interest to you.
• Avoid interrupting. Give them full attention and the time to fully express themselves.
• Think about what they say means to them NOT you.
• Respond back by "mirroring" what they say in order to clarify.
• Use their name intermittently. There's nothing more soothing than the sound of your name!

Remember encouragers stimulate inner courage. Listening with your "whole" self will take you a long way in motivating positive movement in the lives of others. What could be more important than that?

Warm Wishes,

Lisa

Encouragement Principle: Showing your "presence" in a conversation provides an encouraging and safe atmosphere for the speaker.

"Wherefore comfort yourselves together, and edify one another, even as also ye do.

1 Thess. 5:11