The thing about brain cancer is that it doesn’t just attempt to kill the afflicted person, but the family, finances and faith too. On New Year’s eve 2007 I found myself sitting in the hospital with my husband Darryl confused and afraid. He had been having trouble walking, balancing and using his left arm since Christmas. After a phone consultation with an on call nurse, we were advised to get to the emergency room right away. After several hours of poking, prodding and examining-- a cat scan revealed several spots on Darryl’s brain. He was immediately admitted and later diagnosed in Feb. 2008 with Stage 4 glioblastoma brain cancer. Needless to say we were devastated. How could this happen? A seemingly healthy 42 year old man handed a death sentence. I thought I would die too. We had been married 18 years and I had always depended on Darryl to take care of so many things in our lives. Now here I was with a sick husband , three children, a full time job and bills piling up. Though I had the support of friends and family, when I found myself alone in a room I just cried. How was I supposed to take care of everything and everybody??
All I really had left was my faith in God. I prayed and asked Him for strength to help me throught the shock and anger I was feeling. Anger about the situation and even towards my husband for “leaving” me though still physically with us.I felt alone and abandoned and it wasn’t Darryl’s fault but there I was with the task of keeping him alive and our family afloat. There were days I would go through the bills and become so despondent, I would vent angrily to my family and other times through my writing. I faced so many uncomfortable things that year and teetered on the brink of financial devastation. Then one morning I heard as clear as day “NO!” It was as if my spirit shouted at to me all at once! I felt a “righteous indignation” rise in me and I became angry again only not at the situation but at the lie that our life was over. It was at that moment that it was time to shut down the pity party and take my life back. I decided that we would live the best life possible as long as possible--all of us. No more fears of lost hopes and dreams. It was time to maximize each precious day and make it a masterpiece. I began to create a plan for our finances and persevere to get out of as much immediate debt as possible. I found a nurse and other resources for my husband, but also realized how important it was to take care of myself for the sake of myself and the family. I began a diet and fitness regime, lost 35 pounds and wrote my first book which was published this past April 2009.
Even pain has a purpose and we can either run or learn from it. Choosing to completely rely on God as He walks us through life and realizing that setbacks are just setups for God to be glorified on our lives.Pain builds our character and not necessarily our comfort.I hated being uncomfortable, but it forced me to trust in the Lord with all my heart and made me a stronger, more accomplished person. Though my husband still suffers from the effects of the brain cancer--he’s still here--and so am I for that matter.We are transforming into a healthier, wiser and stronger people every day because of God's love, faithfulness and mercies that are new EVERY morning! That's the kicker for me--pain doesn't seem to hurt so much when it's wrapped in God's love!
Selah Moment: How has God transformed your obstacles into opportunities to grow and show His Glory?
"Trust in the Lord with all thine heart;and lean not unto thine own understanding. In all thy ways acknowledge him and he will direct your paths."Proverbs 3:5-6
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